another bad habit

there are some bad habits that i cant throw away since i was a child. one of them is, my heart starts beating so fast amd tears starts to flowing down automatically when i cant do my homework and stuck with it or when i havent finished studying for the exams. i myself dont know why. but it happens without me can controll it. so the story is, i actually have done the java programm, and begin to solve the others questions. but things turn out not so good. things are mixed up in my mind. my brain is just like ..... dont know how to describe it. the idea and understanding i had before, suddenly vanish.i could feel my heartbeat and tears were on my face. yeah, it's such a shameful thing. i am 21, but i just like a primary student who is afraid of being pumished because not doing her homework. helloooo???? christine????? what annoys me more is, i REALISE about it. i realise about my bad habits, but i simply cant avoid it. what annoys you more, when you do realise about your fault but you can do nothing about it??

okay, so today i went to the tutor and asked for some opinions about the assignment which the deadline is just 2 days more. and guess what?? i should redo it from the very beginning. i was just sooo speechless at that time. the tutor said my programm is not wrong, but they demand another version of it. what i could say, they demand the complicated version rather than the simple one!! what could be written in 1 page should be done in 3 pages. T.T am not going to sleep again today. got to think, plan, write, etc etc. i just hope i could give my best.

when people do not make mistakes, it means they do mot learn sth new (my fav quote). should have to learn living out of my comfort zone. wish me luck

have a nice week, friends

sabbe satta bhavantu sukkhitata. saddhu saddhu saddhu