it's not over yet!!!

"Everything will end happily. If not, it's NOT the ending"

Yeah yeah. i intend to study at uni after finishing my courses today. buutttt, i just like a person who has just come out from countryside and havent known about inet. lol. it has been 1,5 hours and i havent started to read. lol. inet is really SOMETHING, huh? hahahha. i wanna confess sth actually. i did a terribly mistakes and i knew clearly that it's not a good habit. soooo, I DID NOT ATTEND MY CLASSES THIS MORNING. but, i did attend french course. so, i skipped 2 lectures and 1 tutorial. it's not because i woke up late or whatever (i even woke up at 6 o'clock). the reasons behind is: informatics. yeah, i still SAD. 2nd homework has been given today. i dont wanna bother myself to read the questions. >.< haihhhhh, this too will pass #ajahn Brahm. is it possible when i woke up tomorrow, and i could suddenly understand all those java programming stuff? #dreamingohdreaming mechanics' result is out already. hmmmm, i did ever said that i did it well, right? yes, it's indeed the best mark i have ever had for these 2 semesters. i should be happy, right? but NO. I didnt smile at all knowing i have done my best. what i was thinking is, how could i maintain it? as people said, "to maintain sth is much more difficult than to pursue it"

am I giving myself too much burden? should I be flexibler to myself as my mom wishes? should I hang out with my friends ofter as my mom told me? hmmmm... i just wish i could do that. but, honestly, seeing my friends walking in front of me and i am left far behind, make me feel like a loser. they will graduate soon, most of them didnt depend on their family anymore. they worked for themselves. on the other side, i know that good marks at school or uni wont play a big role in the future. the most important thing of all is, you should be able to socialize with others. hahahahhahaha. aint going to continue anymore. otherwise, this post will be 50cm long.


am I too late to know that my eyes are not in the same size? lol. my mom told me alrdy long time ago. but, i never paid attention to it actually. recently, i realised it. hahahahha. sudah sipit, kecik sebelah lagi matanye. haiyeeee.. =p

#have been again to temple since the end of 1st semester. am trying to have a visit once a week again. peace, calm, happiness.... you could feel it there.

sabbe satta bhavantu sukkhitata