Who is it? She is not my daughter!

She is just the copy. where is my daughter? where is the christine lestari? my daughter is not such a coward, who afraid to lose before fighting. after few days, the fear vanished! it went away! far far away! 1 hour crying out loud while make a phonecall with my mother has made the previous cl coming back. she woke me up, cheer me up, and supporting me. she told me not to think too much, not to take it as a burden, just do my best. she demand nothing from me. she just need me to put all my best and not to lose before fighting.

she told me about my past. the christine that was in primary and high school. the one who did everything with positive thinking. i did really cry out loud when she told me about my tales. she remembered every single thing of me. she do really have faith on me. she asked me to promise myself not to cry too often anymore. try to be the big cl. to be honest, i find it hard, to be the brave and confidence cl again. those things are just my past. i adore the past cl. what i could do now, just keep on living. whatever will happen, i know i have someone beside me. someone i could really hang on without wondering the time and distance.

i am such an egoistic for this case. from now on, i dont want to lie to myself anymore. i wont pretend to be strong and mature when i am not ready. why should i have to pretend? i wanna do everything spontaneously, without thinking too much ( a mature people should think twice before act? ). i know i have just few years to prepare myself to be the mature one. hehe. y ntar liat de. urusan belakang. wichtig ist, cl is back now. wohooo.... say hello to the world.

kurvendiskussion ist erledigt! 3 themen noch. but i need to deal with deutsch today, since tomorrow is the D day for the test. haha. see you again math. wish me really really luck. happy days guys


"she is my big daughter", says my mom. =D

sabbe satta bhavantu sukkhitata. saddhu saddhu saddhu