It's coming back

Yeah... After a short period of time not feeling what people called "homesick", it came back yesterday. Well, I miss home. Knowing that i couldnt go back home this year probably is the reason of all (cause of my not-so-improving final project. Blame the weather 😞). So I Called my mom yesterday. I was like.... Urghhhh I really missed her voice. Few seconds later, i started to strory-tell my mother. Starting from what happened from the early morning till what i have been doing and (waiting) recently.

Well, she never ever force or simply set a goal for me to complete. She lets me (all of her children) decide and do what we think the best for us. Being told that I am taking master degree classes, my mom sighed. Haha. She indirectly said sth which means, "mao belajar sampai kapan ini ank mama?". Hahahha.. And for the first time, she clearly reminded me that I am OLD enough! Yeah, O-L-D. For all this time, she always tell me that I keep growing day by day, older year by year.

The behind scene why she told that i am her old daughter, is: I was questioning her whether she knows or not that I would go on vacation next week and moreover with whom. She said yes, but not exactly to what countries. (I kinda lost contact with my family past few weeks. That's why I aint sure if I already told them). Well, then i ask her if it's okay to travel just both of us. Everything is okay. She believes in me. Because a friend of mine started to questioning about what i do feel to my travel partner, etc etc. I kept thinking on my way to uni. Questioning myself if I am taking the right decision. To be honest, until the second before my friend's quest, i do not think too far. I mean, seriously, i just need a vacation, not more than that. I am googling and googling about the cities i will visit. Quite excited that i'll see another version of europe (with amazing landscape and river). Well, i know i am back for being a coward. Rejecting to think any further about what i do feel for him. But when I do put a thought on it, what will change? My mother disagree. She said."hui is old enough now. Besides uni, part time, you have to think about relationship, ........ At the end, i was being told that when people are in a relationship, without you realise about it, you'll become happier and prettier." Well, i think about an hour or maybe two? But then? Sometimes i wonder if i really need someone by my side. As you guys know, i am "fine" till now (at least till now). No man no stress, huh? I am comfie with what i have now. So why make it complicated by thinking what is unsure? #caricarialasan. My mom always tell us, jodoh tak lari kemana. And that's why i never think too much. #lagilagicarialasan.

Another message from mom to be remembered, "one wont seem perfect in your eyes, so do you. You wont be perfect in other's view. Try to learn to accept and appreciate"

Happy Vesakh Day everyone! Buddha bless 🙏

Sabbe satta bhavantu sukkhitata. Saddhu saddhu saddhu