Sooo, having my "holidays" now. It can't be called holidays though, since I still have assignments to be submitted within 1 week and other exams in the next 3 weeks. But yeah, I am gonna put all of them aside and enjoying few days without those papers. What I am doing these days are learning Chinese, practicing speaking Chinese and English. Seriously, I need to work harder. I even didn,t know how to translate Chinese into basic English. Just take an example of umbrella. I thought and thought but I couldn,t get the word "umbrella". What I could think of, are "payung" and "Regenschirm". Arghhhhh... how I wish I could do well on English, Chinese and German. Well, I do admit, I kinda "regret" because ignoring what my mom asked me to do back when I was in high school. She asked all of us (read: daughters) to have a Chinese course. But you know, I wasn't that interested in memorizing those complicated Chinese characters. And I proudly tell ya guys, my mom never forces her daughters to do what she wants. So yeah, when I say no to Chinese course, she could do nothing but just agree. I apologize for my bad behave mom! As time passes, this rebellious daughter (read: me) is getting older, and realize how important Chinese is. Better late than none, right? Hmmm, I really hope this spirit could long last. Hahahhaah. I know myself really well, I can't do a thing for a long period. Either I am bored of it or I find another interesting thing to do. Yeah, bad habit of mine.
Since I know about it, I should have to conquer myself!!
Hmm.. Recently I think a lot, I do really mean "a lot". I start to question myself what the **** that has encouraged me to come to Berlin to study. Then, I compare myself with another. I felt I am such an useless person. I spend but I save nothing at the age of 22. I don't join any organization in my university, I don't have lots of friends, the only best friend is my laptop. Next, I imagine what I would be if I am studying at my hometown. I'll graduate this year, I am active in organization, therefore I have bunch of friends, I could teach as a part time job, I'll just use laptop to do the assignments (the rest of time will be used for socializing with others). Not rarely I end up crying afterwards.
On the other side, I try to cheer myself up. As my mom always tells me, "every single thing has its own goodness". I am more independent than before. It's the only goodness I could think.
Life is supposed to be tough. We experience ups and downs. The matter is, how we act to face the "downs", and are we ready enough when the "ups" come. An always-stay-cool head, patience and well done preparation are needed.
Sabbe satta bhavantu sukkhitata. Saddhu saddhu saddhu
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